01.23.20
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How to Do A Life Audit So You Can Have A Great Year

Financial audits are rarely fun, but life audits certainly can be. What most people do when they think about what they want out of life is to beat themselves up for everything they haven’t done and all the things they haven’t accomplished.

If you do that, this journey will not be fun and you’ll only be feeling horrible about yourself when it’s done.

You NEED to take a step back outside yourself and realize that this is not a process that should highlight where you’re failing. Instead, it should provide a road map on how to use your greatest strengths while also showing you where you can improve (and how you can do it).

You have the power to change your life. If you’re reading this post, you probably have some desire to do this process or you never would have ended up reading this. This process isn’t just for people who are miserable, either. Even if you’re wildly happy, you can still receive the benefits of looking at your whole life and tracking things that matter to you.

Before you begin

Your audit should be as unique as you are. For some people, certain habits are excellent and some are a problem. It’s up to you and your gut to determine what’s working and not working in your life.

Ideally, you’ll want to get out your planners, notebooks, or to-do lists (if you have these things), to see how you’ve been spending your time and what you’ve been up to. Don’t worry if you don’t have these things, it won’t prevent you from doing this process.

Let’s begin.

Look at your average day

What does your average day look like? Write it out in detail and be brutally honest.

I’ll start. In 2019 most of my days looked like: wake up (not often on time, drink two extra cups of coffee more than I should, sometimes get right to work but most often just surf around online for an hour or two until I felt good, eat lunch, go workout, walk my dog, surf the internet again while I half-ass worked, and finally go to bed far too late and wonder why I don’t feel like I got anything worthwhile done.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of good days of hustle and adventure in there, but if I had to write out my average day, that’s it. It’s brutal to read but you truly can not do an audit without being real with yourself.

Once you have this, you need to move on to your ideal day.

Write out your ideal day

What do you want to do on your average ideal day?

Now, this is not the time for you to write out what you want an EPIC day to look like. Most of our lives will be comprised of average days, and if you compare a huge, epic day to your day-to-day life, you’re going to feel constantly upset. Even people who travel every other day and are constantly on the go have tons of days where they pay bills and grocery shop. Social media is just a highlight reel, even if it doesn’t seem that way.

Back to your life.

What would make you happy in your life with an average day? Fitting in a hobby? Seeing friends?

If the day is too specific and you don’t have an answer yet, instead, write out your perfect week/month. Do you go out most nights? Are you in a fitness class? Do you fit in a weekly date night? Do you travel every few months?

Once you have this all written out, you can compare the two.

Doing a big life audit

If you get quiet with yourself and think (which is why you should only do an audit somewhere quiet and where you won’t be distracted), you will know the top three areas in your life that are lacking.

Maybe you don’t have enough creativity, maybe you’re sick of your job, maybe you don’t have enough adventure. We all know what we need when we stop lying to ourselves.

Some ideas to ask yourself:

What do you regret not doing over the last decade?
What would you do with more money?
How do you like the city you live in?
What do you daydream about?
What gets you excited to jump out of bed?
What goals did you let slip you by?
How has your life changed for the better or the worse during the past decade?
What do you value and are you living these values?
Where do you want to be in the next decade?
Do you enjoy the people you spend your time with?

What to do when you don’t have answers

If you don’t have answers to an ideal week or to the questions above, that’s okay! So many of us repress our own wants and desires so hard that it’s actually hard to think about what we do want.

Down below I’m going to cover weekly reviews and they’re mandatory if you want to change your life. You might not have the answers now, but as you start to take a hard look at your life every week, you’re going to start finding answers.

Making the plan of attack

Now, I’m not saying you need to set your entire life on fire and start over. However, you do need to look at where you are and where you want to go and pick one thing to start including each week.

You’re going to start with the one that will bring a quick win.

Look through all the things you listed that you want in your ideal week/day. What one thing sticks out to you the most where your gut says, “I NEED this thing!”

That’s the one I want you to include it immediately this week. Put it in your schedule right now and make it non-negotiable.

The thing to keep in mind is that you can’t judge what it is. For me, at the start of this year, I really wanted to improve the number of books I read in a year. My first thought when I thought that was, “But that doesn’t make me more money, I should focus on work goals.”

That’s a toxic mindset and that’s exactly how we all get stuck in ruts.

If your gut says to read some more damn books, read some more damn books.

If your gut says you need time to just sit in the corner and stare at the wall to decompress after a long day, who cares? Do it. Maybe you want to fingerpaint. I don’t know what the thing is, but whatever it is, you need to do it.

Start a weekly and monthly review

There are tons of ways to do weekly and monthly reviews, but you need to start so you can get a good birds-eye view of your life.

For years, I’ve been coasting. I’m actually writing this blog in the middle of the realization that I’ve been living the same days and weeks for years and it’s time to make a change. This blog is as much advice as it is my own plan for how to get out of this rut.

One way to do that is to start doing weekly and monthly reviews. When you sit down and truly analyze what’s working and what’s not working, you can see where the weaknesses and strengths are, like a general looking at a battle plan.

You must treat this seriously. Your life is waiting for you to take control and start steering the ship.

Every week and month, you’re going to analyze your:

  • Health (mental and physical)
  • Finances
  • Relationships (friends, family, dating)
  • Spiritual life/service to others (if you care)
  • Habits
  • Productivity
  • Passion projects
  • Work/business/school
  • Energy (physical and mental)
  • Education/learning
  • Personal development
  • Travel/adventure
  • Anything else specific to your goals or that you simply want to track (creativity, leisure time, character, living situation, life goals, fun/relaxation, etc)

Keep in mind, these are just suggested categories. Track what matters to you or even just start with one to build the habit.

Rate them all from 1 to 10 and analyze the data. It might take a few weeks to get a real perspective of how you spend your time, but you’ll start to see insights you didn’t see before. You might notice when you spend more time with friends, you’re happier. Or you might notice that when you’re feeling healthy, you’re more productive.

I can’t tell you how to audit each of these areas every week and month, it’s up to you to determine what’s important and matters most. You might want to focus on output, for something like work, or just an overall feeling.

Once you do the audit, it’s essential to figure out HOW you could fix the areas that are lagging.

Where to begin if you’re overwhelmed

Sometimes we’ve spent so much time going through the motions that it’s hard to even know where to begin.

I’ve been there.

I don’t want you to leave this article feeling overwhelmed and like you can’t do this.

So, if you have a feeling like this is too much, I want you to just pick ONE habit you’re going to implement and ONE new thing to add to your life. Then you’re going to do a weekly review on each of these things.

For example, start making your bed and start reading on Sunday mornings. Then, you’re going to celebrate like crazy if you even made your bed once that whole week. If you were never making your bed and you now made your bed once, that’s a 1/7 improvement rate. The other six days are not a failure. Maybe you only read one page this week. That’s one page you weren’t reading the week before.

The next week, you’re going to aim for 2/7 days of bed making and reading two books.

It sounds dumb, but it’s not. There is so much science behind starting with steps so small you barely even notice them. Read this post on the 1% rule to see what I mean: here.

ANY improvement, no matter how small, is still an improvement. Period.

Bonus idea: time track

Most people do not track their time. They know when they need to work and what they need to do, but they don’t spend any meaningful time figuring out where their time and life go.

When you track your time, you can start to see how you’re actually spending your time instead of guessing. It’s easy to say we have a priority of working out, but then you track your time and realize you’re only going once a week.

Matt Ragland (this is not sponsored by him – I truly like this video), has a great video: click here, on how he uses his bullet journal to track his time. It’s an amazing way to get an idea of your week. Customize it how you need to.

If you did this whole process, let me know how it went in the comments below!

09.19.19
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Take Action Before Analyzing

The worst thing you could ever do to a goal or dream is to keep planning it forever.

Every month, you get a burst of inspiration, pull out the dry erase boards, and map out all your big plans.

You follow through on them for maybe a day or two. Then, momentum slows down.

You go back to the drawing board and keep reading books and tweaking your plans.

Before you realize it, months, if not years, have gone by and you’re still in the planning and tweaking phase.

I know this because I’ve been there too many times. There are some areas in my life that are incredibly easy to map out a plan and then take action on, and sometimes projects seem to get stuck in development hell until the end of time.

Do you think Theodore Roosevelt sat around, looking at his planners, dreaming of accomplishing things? No. He was a man that focused on action which is why his life was so incredibly full.

The importance of habits

Lately, I’ve been reading Atomic Habits by James Clear and it’s been one of the best books on how important it is to take your goals and turn them into systems.

He poses an important idea in the book: If you were to only follow your system, would you hit your goals anyway?

If not, that means your system and habits aren’t good enough.

For example, lets say your goal is to lose 15 lbs. If you’re not keeping track of your food and going to the gym, you’re not going to hit that goal, no matter how much you want to.

The thing about habits and systems is that they’re also mindless. You should be able to do them with ease and fit them into your schedule.

In my career, the only way I’ve been able to make it as a freelance writer is simply due to the fact that writing is a habit for me. I still get writers block and some days the words don’t flow as easy as others, but sitting down and getting it done is what I’ve trained myself to do.

Outlining your habits and systems

If you’re going to set a goal, you need to break it down into the habits and systems you need in place before hitting the goal.

Continuing with the gym example, I’d go even further and say you need your workout outfit laid out the night before. You need your gym bag packed and your workout routine entered into your phone.

There are action steps and systems within every single goal that can help make the process easier.

If you think your goal doesn’t have a habit or system, you’re wrong. There’s always something you can do to get closer to a goal on a consistent basis.

Even when it came to building my business, there was no set dedicated habit that made it happen, but just getting into the habit of working on it while also building systems to make things easier helped and is one of the key reasons my business is still alive years later.

The thing that keeps people from doing this is that habits aren’t sexy. Dreaming of having a six-pack is much more enticing than thinking about the number of times you’ll have to turn down extra snacks at dinner.

Developing discipline and grit

There are few goals out there that are easy enough to make happen without any effort. However, the idea that we have to power through 24/7 even when it’s hard is just as ridiculous.

Building habits is definitely hard, but the more you do them the easier they become.

You’ve probably heard of Jerry Seinfeld’s calendar for habit building. Although the story is disputed whether he actually said that, the gist is that he took a big monthly wall calendar and put a big X on the days when he wrote. After a while, he had a chain of X’s and he didn’t want to break it.

You can also approach your goals with time-blocking. Setting apart one dedicated chunk of time to getting things done and focusing with full intensity, like Roosevelt did.

Expect failure

If you’re not a person who follows a schedule or is particularly disciplined when it comes to your life, it’s going to take a learning curve.

Expecting yourself to execute on your habits perfectly every time is not realistic and is just going to lead to you beating yourself up and falling harder off the wagon.

When you expect failure, you can plan to get around it. “Oh I missed twice this week, great, that was expected!” as if failure was part of the plan all along.

Sitting around beating yourself up is a waste of everyone’s time. I know a ton of people who beat themselves up every second of every day and instead of it motivating them it just ruins their confidence slowly but surely.

Some days life gets in the way, but if you’re working hard to keep yourself accountable, that’s all you can ask from yourself.

On the days we feel motivated, it’s easy to take on extra work and crush it. However, on our bad days we simply fall into our habits. If your habits are video games and sleeping all day, that’s what you’re going to fall back to.

If your habits help you and progress you toward your goals, even in the smallest way, you’ve done an excellent job.

The people around you who seem to continue to progress year after year probably have rock-solid habits and systems to help them grow.

They are in the habit of going to the gym. They have a system to network with people who can help their career. They make a habit of going on a set number of dates each week so they can meet someone they want to be in a relationship with.

Taking action steps first

The next time you feel the urge to bust out the planners and map out your big goals, start by taking action. Just take action on anything small you possibly can.

Want a goal of getting in shape? Go to the sink and chug water.

This seems silly, but in the long run, it’s going to train your mind to value taking action on an idea as soon as it’s in your mind.

Action will always beat out naval gazing, and with the right system and habits hitting your goals will quickly become second nature.

04.11.19
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Be Able to Look Yourself in the Mirror

There is nothing better than looking in the mirror at the end of the day and being able to respect the person looking back at you.

Most people are living their lives in two different ways: being deceitful to themselves, and being deceitful to others.

Lying to yourself about who you are and what you want can have disastrous consequences. This leads to people not being able to look at themselves because they know they’re not living up to their potential in the world – that they’re avoiding what they should be doing. They’re not pursuing the dreams they know they should be hunting down.

Lying to others means hiding who you really are or knowing you’re hurting them intentionally. This can be as big as hiding an affair or as small as wanting to tell your partner you want to take up painting as a hobby.

Either of these situations can lead to personal struggle; to feeling that something is off in your body and refusing to confront it. This makes you unable to look yourself in the eye at the end of the day, because you can feel that inner turmoil.

There’s also an inner turmoil when you know you’re actually being deceitful and hurting people intentionally. There’s no pleasure in the world that is better than being able to look yourself in the eye at the end of the day.

You can’t hide from yourself in the mirror. You know when you’re feeling one way or another about how you’re living your life and your days.

Not only does avoiding your truth lead to mental discomfort, but it will show up in different areas of your life. You’ll be dating people who aren’t a good fit, you’ll end up in jobs you don’t really like, and you’ll live in places that don’t make you excited.

Be real with yourself and be ready to live in your truth so you can look yourself in the eye at night. It won’t always be easy, but at least you’ll have a life worth living.

01.24.19
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Add MORE to Your Plate to Combat Stress

screen shot 2019-01-24 at 10.37.07 amIn times of overwhelm, the common thought is to cut back.

To remove things from your life.

To start saying “no” to things.

That’s not always the best way to deal with stress.

The truth is, most of us are living far under our potential. We’re way under the level of stress, focus, and productivity we could endure.

There’s a common theme that you might have heard about, the 40% rule. The general idea behind is that when you’re saying you’re done, you’re only 40% done. You can handle 60% more, you just think you can’t.

For years, I took the other advice. When I was overwhelmed with work, personal issues, etc., I started cutting things out. I’d cut until there were just the bare bones left.

Did I feel relaxed? Fully zen? Stress-free?

Fuck no.

This wasn’t just once or twice in my life. It was quite a few times where I’d do this expecting to feel all this relief, and instead, it just produced more anxiety.

That’s the paradox to this situation. We’re told to relax when everything feels tough, but sometimes the answer is to do more.

Yes, sometimes you truly need to cut back, especially when it comes to most of us and our possessions.

Anyone reading this blog probably wants a bigger, successful, fulfilling life.  This doesn’t mean materialistic success, this means true, deep fulfillment.

And to hit that fulfillment, you need more. You’re hiding from your true potential.

Start adding in more hobbies. Ones that make you happy and ones that challenge you.
Take on more work responsibilities.
Expand your friend group.
Try a new exercise routine that pushes you.

As soon as you do, you’ll hit a wall. You’ll whine. You’ll want to take things off your plate because you’re “overwhelmed”.

You’re not overwhelmed. You’re adjusting.

Think of your life like a body. When you start to work out, you’re sore and generally miserable for a bit. Then, one day you wake up and realize your body is craving being active.

What this does for your mind

When you view yourself as someone who welcomes more and welcomes a full plate, you’ll be magnetic to the people around you. Not to get all woo-woo on you, but this is the mentality of people who view life through an abundant lens.

If you’re like most people and you want more friends, more connections, a bigger network, more dates, becoming someone who views the world and their life as abundantly as possible is a rare trait.

Experiencing many things and opening your mind up to possibilities adds more joy to your life and will cut your stress.

Dealing with stress is all about perspective, anyway. There are millions of people who would kill for the stress you complain about every day because their situation is worse.

How this changes your stress

When you have more things on your plate, you’re able to handle more stress once you get through the initial “suck” period.

If you don’t have much on your plate, your partner fighting with you or your boss yelling at you is enough to ruin your week, because those things are all you have in your life. Your threshold is a lot lower because you don’t have enough stress.

It’s like someone who works out a lot: a 20 lb weight is nothing to someone strong, but it is too much for someone weak. It’s just a 20 lb weight. Same weight, different reactions.

The same goes for the stress in your life. Your boss yelling at you will destroy you if that’s all you do with your time. However, if your boss yells at you and then you have kickboxing followed by a hot date that night, you’ll care a lot less.

This doesn’t mean you fill your plate up so much that you never have time to process things, leaving you an emotionless human. It just means you’re able to put your stress into better perspective because you have other things going on.

Life is something you have to experience

You can’t think about having a full life. You have to go LIVE it.

Enough reading.
Enough planning.
It’s 2019, it’s go time.

01.03.19
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How to Plan and Dominate 2019

This site is about the pleasure that comes from putting in hard work and focusing on leaving a legacy.

This journey isn’t for most people. It’s one I find myself continually struggling with: the ease of comfort instead of the worthwhile journey of effort.

2018 is over. You can’t go back. Spend zero time feeling bad about any unaccomplished goals and instead focus on the year ahead.

After browsing around the internet, I realized that most of the conversation about the new year has a thick layer of sarcasm about setting goals. People say that the only thing that changed is the date on the calendar. I disagree.

At any point in time, you can choose a different life. You can quit that bad habit, start going to the gym, get organized, get off the couch, donate your tv, start dressing better, laugh more, delete people from your life, change your sleeping schedule… Anything you want as long as you decide and commit.

Success is as simple as a decision.

Every “guru” out there wants you to believe you can’t simply change your life with a decision. You need the new gadget, a perfect plan, their program, their book, or whatever else the world is constantly trying to sell you.

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t sit for a month. – Theodore Roosevelt

All you need is the right frame of mind, some goals, and a strategic plan.

From there, it’s the values of discipline and tenacity that will make them come true.

This year will be your best year if you decide it will be. When you put in the hard work day in and day out, you’ll find yourself closer to your goals at every step.

Most people want the success now, even though they were lazy all throughout 2018. Success comes after you’ve put in the hard work, not any time sooner.

Doing what needs to be done isn’t always fun. That’s all I’m asking from myself and from you this year: Know that it won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, but it will be worth it in the end.

Here’s a behind the scenes look at my own planning process:

1. Write out all the categories.

While it can be good to focus on three main areas of life, I tend to go a little overboard to keep all the areas of my life in balance.

In the past when I focused only on three things, I found myself out of balance because other areas were neglected.

Here are some of the areas I have listed:

  • Financial
  • Fitness/Health
  • All of the websites I write for (broken into separate categories)
  • Freelance writing and clients
  • Writing (passion projects)
  • My dog
  • Fun and travel
  • Business
  • Family, friends, social
  • Personal development
  • Home
  • Service to others

It might seem like a lot, but keeping all of these continually moving forward and not letting them slip through the cracks removes about 99% of useless stress.

I carry a small notebook with me everywhere, and at the end of each day I filter my “to-do’s” and ideas into each category in my Trello account. Here is my Trello home page:

Screen Shot 2016-01-04 at 11.40.10 AM

For some people, that’s insanely chaotic. For me, it’s incredible and I rarely miss anything I have to do. When I need to plan something out or remember it, I know exactly where to put it.

However, if simple categories work for you, do it! There is no such thing as a “one size fits all” system. Your categories will be different, but feel free to test my system to see if it works for you.

I used to have general areas, but then I would miss really important events and things in my life. This way, I have a handle on everything.

2. Set goals for each category.

You might not have goals for every single category, and that’s perfectly fine.

Here’s a huge secret to goal setting: Set goals that focus on your own effort instead of a goal outside of your control. If you want a six-pack, focus on going to the gym 300 out of the 365 days this year.

Too many people set goals that depend on outside circumstances such as landing a book deal, finding a relationship, or buying a house instead of focusing on their own efforts.

For example, when I was a full-time freelance writer, I always wrote down that I wanted to hit certain financial goals each month.

However, in the world of freelancing some months are awesome, some months are horrible I’d be hard on myself when I didn’t hit my goals even though I was working relentlessly to make it happen. Instead, if I had focused on sending out a certain number of pitches, I could focus on my own efforts day in and day out instead of feeling like a failure constantly. Putting my feelings of accomplishments into other people’s hands and waiting for their “approval” was a bad idea.

Do not overlook the importance of feeling good with your hard work. Hating yourself for not achieving your goals means you’ve set the wrong goals, not that there’s something wrong with you. You should go to bed with satisfaction knowing you put everything you have into your day instead of with bad feelings because the world didn’t give you what you want.

Do what you need to do, and pay no mind to if the world responds.

A strange phenomenon usually happens when you focus on your own efforts: the world responds accordingly. You will be pleasantly surprised, but only if you stay focused on your work and feeling positive.

The world might not cooperate with the goals you have for yourself, but you can always put forth your own effort.

Devote yourself to the PROCESS, to the hard work, instead of the outside circumstances.

A study done at the University of California found that people were 42% more likely to achieve their goals when they wrote them down. Take the time to go through each area of your life and write down what you want.

Also, the stronger the reason “why” you can tie to each goal, the greater the chances of it happening.

3. Break those goals down.

Take each goal and break it down by quarter or month.

What is vital to the overall goal?
What has to be set in motion over the next one to three months?
Which goals can wait?

From there, break everything down by week.

Weekly planning is HUGE, by the way. Out of all the things you do, investing an hour or two on Sunday to mapping out the week ahead will change your life if you haven’t started this practice already.

It’s up to you how detailed you want your break down to become. Personally, I break goals down by: 3 years, 1 year, quarterly, and monthly. Then, I have a monthly planning session each month to see where I’m at and break it down by week.

There is no doubt it’s a lot of work, but even doing this for one area of your life you care about the most will change everything.

4. Set a schedule and reminders.

Look at your goals and get right into your planner.

Dreaming is great, but doing is where the magic happens. Write down when and where you will accomplish your tasks throughout the week.

It’s up to you how detailed you want your schedule to become and how you choose to map it all out. Some people use digital planners, some use paper, some just use one sheet of paper… Feel free to try a wide variety of options and see what works best for you.

However, do not jump from one to another at lightning speed. Too many people are addicted to trying the newest planning software. Stick with one for at least a month to see if it works for you.

Never forget that it’s more about getting the important things done than having the fanciest system. Theodore Roosevelt accomplished more than 99% of people and he did not have an iPhone or the internet. He focused on getting things DONE.

Although I use digital trackers like Trello to keep all my paperwork and to-do’s in order, for my day to day planning I still use a paper planner. I’ve had far too many times where technology failed me and I couldn’t access my task lists, so I still have my paper planner. Crossing through something on paper seems to also be more satisfying than clicking a button.

Commit every single morning to your goals and your mission. Create a morning and evening routine that get you set up and focused for the day.

5. Set yourself up to succeed.

I mentioned earlier that achieving goals requires discipline and tenacity. Understand that life will get in the way. Understand that you will be challenged. Understand that it takes time to build willpower.

One tip to combatting these outside forces is to be BRUTALLY honest about what distracts you. For example, I know I’m a GIANT sucker for ice cream. Few things ruin my willpower like ice cream. My solution? I never, ever buy any unless it’s for a cheat day.

Studies have shown time and time again that willpower is a depleting force throughout the day. Even the strongest people can crack after a tough day.

Go through all your goals and list the possible things that will knock you off track of your goals, then make a list of what you will do to combat these forces.

When generals plan to go to war, they don’t just say, “This plan will go perfect and nothing will happen.” NO. They say, “Here’s our plan, but if the enemy does x, y, and z, we will do this to combat that.”

Plan your life in the same way. Adjust as you go. Every day start fresh no matter what happened the day before and if you fell off the wagon. Just keep on keeping on.

Another idea is to also plan in fun. My working day has had much better success by scheduling in the internet browsing for fun. Instead of feeling like I’m missing out on good YouTube videos, I know I’ll have time to binge this afternoon after I come home from the gym.

Don’t completely deprive yourself of what you enjoy, just put it in the schedule at the right time instead of letting it distract you from what you need to focus on right now.

That’s my planning system, and I’d love to hear about any goals you have this year. Leave a comment below or Tweet me: @SLManifesto!

11.08.18
by

How to Break Free From Technology and Cell Phone Addiction

If you’ve ever browsed /r/NoSurf or been on the internet for any length of time, you realize how common technology addiction is. The problem is that it’s so addicting as other types of addictions, but society doesn’t see it that way.

We see “no smoking” signs everywhere, there are laws about alcohol across the world, most drugs are illegal, but there are no rules or regulations when it comes to technology (except in some countries where it’s outlawed or regulated completely… but that’s a different topic).

Actually, if you’re on your tech devices all the time, people think you’re a hard worker or that you’re hip to new technology. (However, your significant other and family members will hate it.) While that may be the impression externally, what you deal with internally is a whole other battle.

If you’ve ever read Deep Work by Cal Newport, you’d understand the dangers of allowing technology to run rampant in your life.

The whole premise of the book is that you need to regularly dive deep into the thing that matter most in your career. He’s an excellent example of this theory because his writing is so deep and thought-provoking. It’s a must-read for any creative.

In there, he makes the point that people who are interrupted all the time or who multitask are mental wrecks. They can’t filter out irrelevancy. We know the dangers of technology addiction and how much it can wreck your mind and productivity. If you’re reading this blog, there’s a chance you want more out of life than endlessly scrolling through social media, so let’s take a look at how you can combat this addiction and get your life back.

And no, this won’t include a “digital detox” because I don’t believe it’s realistic in today’s world. If you want to delete social media, that’s fine, but I already tried that experiment and for me, it didn’t work so I don’t believe in it.

Confront the real problems

I know at least half of you (or more) are going to click off here. This step is real and heavy. Instead of feeding you some BS about “oh just install some social media blockers and you’re cured!”, we’re going to go deeper than that.

Technology addiction is a bandaid to something real going on, just like most addictions.

Maybe you’re lonely.
Maybe you’re going through a breakup.
Maybe you hate your job.
Maybe you know you need a divorce.
Maybe you haven’t overcome abuse from your childhood.

Whatever the issues are, you have to acknowledge it.

Yes, technology is designed to be addictive, but the fact is that there’s something more going on.

You don’t have to change your life overnight, and I’m not going to pretend like it’s just that easy. You have to start by acknowledging what’s going on. This will give you perspective on your life. Instead of beating yourself up and thinking, “I’m a loser because I can’t stop scrolling Reddit,” it gives you the power to switch it to, “I can’t stop scrolling because I picked the wrong college major and I don’t want to confront it.”

Start scheduling blocks of no technology

Even if it’s 5 minutes a day, schedule blocks of time where you don’t use any technology at all. No phone, no tablet, no computer, no gaming, no iPod.

Do anything else in its place. Clean your place, walk around outside, go grocery shopping, or do anything else that keep you away from your devices.

Do one mindful activity a day

Mindfulness basically means giving your full attention to something. Pick one thing a day where you’re going to sit and focus on that activity.

One of my favorite ways to practice mindfulness is when I eat. Get away from technology, stop scrolling through Twiter, don’t play your favorite tv show, just sit and focus on your food. Pick whatever activity works for you.

This is a form of meditation because every time your brain starts to stray away from what you’re doing, pull it back.

If you’re truly deep in a tech addiction, you probably can’t pick your work yet for your mindfulness activity. It usually takes too many hours and you need to build up your stamina. This is why you need to be careful committing to something huge. Going from zero focus to wanting to play an instrument for an hour a day when your focus is destroyed will only end in disappointment and hurt your confidence.

Start to measure

Most iPhones now have a screen time measurement in Settings. There are also a ton of computer apps for tracking how much time you spend online. Get these numbers and start measuring.

Find quiet places

Silence these days seems non-existent. From constant notifications, emails, roommates, partners, children, etc., we’re left with no quiet time to think.

Most of us go to coffee shops to think, but have you ever noticed how insanely loud coffee shops are too.

You need silence, WITHOUT music. Yes, without music. You can introduce music back into your routine down the line, but for now, you need to treat yourself like you’re in recovery. You need to retrain your mind.

Use technology to fight technology

If you’re looking to use technology to fight technology.

Here are some articles to help with that:

How to Quit Mindlessly Surfing the Internet and Actually Get Stuff Done

How To Apply A Minimalist Mindset To Your Screen Time Without The FOMO

The Complete Guide to Breaking Your Smartphone Habit

Podcast #168: The Value of Deep Work in the Age of Distraction

How To Overcome Internet Addiction and Build Deep Work Habits

There are some incredibly valuable nuggets of wisdom in there to combat your internet and cellphone addictions.

Get to know pen and paper

I don’t even need to go over the benefits of carrying pen and paper. You can get a notebook for $1, and start carrying it around. You’ll see the benefits.

Start doing your to-dos offline

So many tasks require technology to finish them. Unless you have incredible discipline, it’s too easy to start browsing in the middle of when you should be productive.

Start batching your to-do’s by internet to-dos and offline to-do’s. For example, I wrote this whole post on paper first, and although it’s time-consuming to have to type it, I was able to write far more than usual.

Schedule in your mindless browsing

The last thing to do to start to combat your endless scrolling, you need to schedule in time for you to mindlessly browse. Don’t pretend like you’re going to go cold turkey, because you’re not. It’s easier to work hard when you know at 5 PM you can freely browse for an hour that evening.

These tactics won’t guarantee you’ll beat it overnight, but with baby steps, you’ll be able to start to conquer it.

03.15.18
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Rise to the Challenge in Front of You

In your life right now, there’s a challenge you’re avoiding.

Actually, there’s probably a lot of challenges you’re avoiding.

Day-to-day life can feel exhausting. Work, obligations, home duties, friends, relationships, family, hobbies, kids… The list of things to do each day is a mile long.

However, for every single person who has so much to do, there was someone out there who overcame the daily grind and still pursued their dreams.

Being busy has become a band-aid term for not pursuing dreams.

It’s a constant excuse that makes us feel validated in our whining. We get to avoid the pain of realizing we’re not putting enough effort in.

Of course, there are a million difficult things that can get in the way of what you want.

Cancer, death, paralyzing fears, car accidents, natural disasters…

But the truth is that things will always keep happening. There is never a time of perfect circumstances or where the “time is right”.

Theodore Roosevelt lost his mother and his wife on the same day, and he managed to overcome it. It doesn’t mean it was easy to get through. It means he looked the challenge in the face and took on the emotional pain, woke up every day, and kept putting one foot in front of the other.

There has to be a point where you start chasing your fears instead of running away from them.

There will always be a lot going on, but you need to decide what matters most to you and make time for it.

 

Sometimes the challenges are small, such as finally cleaning out your garage. Sometimes they’re big challenges, such as finally moving across the country.

Whatever it is, it’s time to tackle it on.

 

Make a plan of action and start today.

Your life is waiting.

12.14.17
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How to Focus When Everyone Seems to Be Farther Ahead

Ah, social media. It’s brought about some of the best in humanity but also brought about new challenges we have to deal with.

Before, we only heard about all the things our friends are doing through catching up with them or by hearing it through other people.

Now, you just flip on your phone and can see all of the things everyone you’ve ever known are doing with their lives.

Sure, it would be nice to say to simply delete social media and never use it again, and that’s great for the people who can do that. However, not all of us can. Some people like social media or work in a career that needs it. This will be more of a balance when you have no choice but you still need to stay focused on your own life, even when the people around you are doing cool things.

Accepting your path

The first thing you need to accept is that everyone is on a different journey. We can’t all be on the same blueprint, because what would be the purpose?

When you look at successful people over time, you’ll see that every single one of them had a different journey. Some found success at 18, some became successful in their 60’s. Some with a family, some without. Some with parents some without. You get the idea.

Knowing what YOU want

On this site, I’ve said time and time again that the most important part of life is to know what YOU want. Not what your parents want for you, not what your teachers want, not what your friends want, not what your partner wants… What YOU want.

A lot of us turn to social media instead of facing those hard questions and thoughts. Every time we feel uncomfortable or realize we’re unhappy where we are, we pop up those stimulating apps that distract us from that discomfort.

When you realize you’re falling into that pattern, it’s more important than ever to take a social media break and step back a bit.

Compare what you want to what you see

My career requires me to be on social media far too much (digital marketing), so I had to figure out a way to deal with this.

The best solution I have found is to notice when I’m feeling jealous or behind and ask myself:
* Am I actively working toward what I want?
* Is this thing I’m jealous over something I actually want?

The biggest thing I’ve realized is that when I’m not actively working toward what I want, it’s easy to become bitter when you see other people happy. (That’s also the case for every single troll on the internet.)

When you’re making progress every day toward what you want, you have little time to be jealous or upset. You’ll actually be happy for other people doing the same thing.

The second question helps you realize that so much of what we see online isn’t something we actually want. For example, if you saw your friend giving a speech to a huge crowd and you were a little envious, ask yourself if public speaking is even something you want.

Avoid self-sabotage thinking

It’s so easy to get caught in a downward spiral of feeling like there’s something wrong with you when you see other people succeeding. This is especially true if you see people achieving the things that you have on your own goal list.

Remember that the things you already have, someone in the world is praying to have. You’re blessed in different ways, whether you see those blessing or not. Someone would kill for your life.

Stay focused on what you want, remind yourself that your life path will be unique, and take note of how far you’ve come.

12.07.17
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100% is Easy, 99% is Hard as Hell

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“100% is Easy, 99% is Hard” is a quote I came across recently that took me quite some time to absorb.

The essential premise is that when you’re 100% committed, everything becomes easy. When you’re just 1% hesitant, that hesitancy can destroy your productivity.

This has been a year of a lot of 99%. And the problem is, 99% sounds great, right? Like, you’re almost fully committed. “It’s a lot more than 1%!” you tell yourself.

However, every number on the scale to 100% is enough to stop you. Only being 10% committed… 40%… 51%… It doesn’t matter.

If you aren’t getting the right things done, take a minute to think for a second. Ask yourself if you are 100% committed to what you want.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’ll know that you are somewhere under 100% committed.

Of course, we can accomplish the things on our to-do lists that are required to get done without being 100% committed. If your parents need a favor, you need to finish something your boss gives you to do, you need to go grocery shopping… Those are different.

I’m talking about the true passion that burns in your soul. The one your mind just went to. The thing you’re dying to do that you just keep putting off.

2018 is just around the corner, how much longer are you going to wait?

For years, I’ve been a writer for my work. I can write client projects without much of a struggle and without writers block getting in the way. However, look at this blog. I love this site. It’s a baby passion project. But look at how few times I post. (Yes, this is me calling myself out.)

It’s easy to sit down and be like “oh, I can’t write today, writers block” but in the back of my mind I know that’s not true.

Think about all the other areas of your life. Where are you lacking 100% commitment when it’s important?

Whether it’s in sports, relationships, goals, or for any other thing that matters to you, it’s essential that you remove that one percent that’s holding you back.

You can be scared, you can be nervous, you can want to scream, but you must be fully committed and follow through.

Let’s go through some examples you’ve probably been in.

If you aren’t 100% committed to your diet, you’ll easily excuse those cheat meals here and there that add up to additional weight. When you’re 100% committed, you don’t even look at those tempting snacks. You already know you’re not going to touch them.

If you aren’t 100% committed to your relationship, all kinds of temptations are everywhere. You’ll start flirting, your thoughts will start looking outside your relationship. Most of all, you won’t put in the commitment to fix it, you’ll just want to bail out. When you’re committed, you’re ready to fix whatever problems come up.

If you aren’t 100% committed to pursuing that burning passion or dream, you’ll let things like your feelings, the weather, or being tired get in the way. You’ll do it “tomorrow”. When you’re 100% committed, it doesn’t matter how you feel.

Until you’re at 100%, you can kiss progress goodbye.

All throughout time, the people who truly accomplished what they wanted to hit the 100% committed mark.

It’s time for you to do the same.

01.25.17
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For A Successful 2017, Audit Yourself And Find A Purpose

There is a lot to be said for planning out a year. (If you still need to plan your year: this guide will help.)

At a certain point, though, you can only add so many things into your life before you need to start subtracting to make room for all the new.

One of the best ways to start doing that is to track your time.

Most people think they’re utilizing every single minute of every day, but if you actually track your time you’ll see plenty of holes.

When I spent time tracking what I was doing during every hour of every day, I realized I was wasting a lot of time waiting on responses from people. Once I realized this, I found productive things to do while I wait for edits, responses, or anything else that depends on someone else getting back to me.

So many people claim they don’t have time, yet can tell you every detail of what happened this season on Game of Thrones.

(On a side note: Consuming media isn’t a bad thing, but consuming media at the expense of your goals is where people start to get in trouble.)

Finding A Goal

The first step is to know what goals you want in your life.

If you don’t have goals, you have no idea if you’re using your time well or not and when you have free time, you don’t know what to do.

When you have a vision for your life, or at least an overriding goal for the year, it’s easy to ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing right now getting me closer or farther from that goal?”

Your time becomes clear.

This is what a lot of “productivity experts” overlook: having something to work toward.

Who cares if you meditate, clean your room, exercise daily, plan your day, or anything else if it’s all meaningless? I’ve seen on a lot of posts on productivity forums along the lines of, “My life is totally in order yet I feel empty inside… why?”

Simple: Because we humans are meant for more than to be tidy.

Being tidy for the sake of looking like you have it together doesn’t make sense. Being tidy because that helps you spend less time on clutter and more time on what matters makes sense.

Having goals, values, a purpose gives meaning to the small tasks.

You might not know what your life’s purpose is, but having literally anything to work toward gives meaning to the day-to-day grind.

Plus, it removes that, “What should I be working on?” feeling when you have downtime.

Track Your Time

There are multiple ways to track your time.

Some prefer digital tools like RescueTime that can track your web activity.

Some prefer paper, and what has worked for me is this planner, where I can track each day 15 minutes at a time. Plus, each day is blank so you can track the days you want without wasting paper when you miss some days. I don’t work at my computer all the time, so I had to find something else I could take offline.

Every 60 minutes I go back and write down what I worked on for the past hour.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard to keep writing it down and I actually had to set a 60-minute timer to remember to do it, but it’s eye-opening.

When you complain about not having enough time to work on that creative project, but then write down “Facebook” as what you’ve spent the last hour doing, you understand where your time has gone.

Cut, Cut, Cut

Once you have an accurate look at your week and where your time went, this is when you need to re-prioritize.

There are a million reasons our time goes out the window. Not being organized enough, having too many things on our plate, saying “yes” to too many things, falling into time-wasting activities, and so on.

You can’t audit your life until you have an actual overlook at where your time goes.

This is when you can make plans for the time-sucks that eat away at your life.

For example, here are some things I’ve altered:

  1. I made my Facebook password ridiculously complicated and I sign out after being done. Having a complicated password prevents me from signing in at any moment. I also took Facebook, along with some other social media platforms, off my phone so I stopped burning time on those mindless activities.
  2. I meal prep as often as I can. One huge time suck was cooking every single day, so I’ve been working to change that. I don’t want to eat out every day, because that’s a financial drain, but just having things prepared has made everything so much easier.
  3. Stopped multi-tasking. I thought I was getting so much done when I would multi-task, but after tracking my time I discovered this wasn’t true at all. Doing multiple tasks took longer than me focusing and doing one at a time.
  4. I now only consume media I really enjoy. Sometimes we all get sucked in to keeping up with the “hot” things of our time, but that can be such a waste of time. I stopped watching a lot of TV shows for that reason.

Keep Modifying

It’s normal to fall off the wagon when you’re trying to build new habits or shift your focus, but if you keep tracking and trying to improve, you can make your life better with each passing day.

What have you realized was a complete time-suck, and how did you change it? Leave a comment!