Dealing With Stress: Use The 10/10/10 Rule

Stress is unavoidable.

If you’re choosing to actively live the strenuous life, you will encounter many times when you feel so outside your comfort zone, that you’re not sure how you’ll handle it.

You’ll stay up late with visions of failure.
Your palms will sweat.
You’ll feel like your whole world is caving in.

The good news is that a simple perspective shift will change these times.

Years ago, I heard this rule and I thought I would pass it onto other people. It is a way to deal with the overwhelming facts of life, especially in those moments of crushing worry.

This is called the 10/10/10 Rule.

I remember reading this in an article somewhere a long time ago. I can’t find it to link to it, but I’m going to recreate the general message.

When you feel that crushing stress, you simply ask yourself:
“Will this matter in 10 days?” Yes/No.
“Will this matter in 10 months?” Yes/No.
“Will this matter in 10 years?” Yes/No.

You’ll find that for the most part, the things you’re currently worried about will not matter in the grand perspective of life.

Every time I’m worried about paying a bill, passing a test, worried about friends, or any other stress that comes into my life, I write these questions out and actively imagine my life after that period of time.

Most of our problems will not matter in 10 years, but the astonishing fact is that I realize how soon most problems will be over. If something stressing me out, I realize that in 10 days it simply won’t matter.

Those school finals? They end.
Those payments on your debt? You’ll figure it out. Sell some stuff. Do some freelance work. You’ll be free one day.
That relationship problem? You’ll figure it out, or the relationship will end.

Once you realize there is an end point to a certain problem, you realize this problem won’t kill you. It forces you to get outside of your body and create a birds-eye view of your problems.

What do you do when a problem doesn’t go away?

You accept it. Period. If you can’t change it, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on knowing this is a fact in life. Maybe you were born shorter than you want. Maybe you were born with a different skin color. Maybe someone close to you passed away.

These are all facts that cannot be changed, so the faster you accept it, the faster you move on to building your legendary life.

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Accepting Death Helps You Live Life

American culture completely rejects death.

This is why the “anti-aging’ industry makes billions of dollars.

We will do anything to hide from the fact that we only live a certain amount of years on this planet.

For whatever reason, March was a crazy month. Things were piling up, my inbox was bursting at the seams, family drama, etc.

Most people I know have been there: where it feels like no matter what you do, everything seems to be going wrong.

At the same time, I have been big on the idea of having mental mentors. A council you can go to so you can seek advice.

I thought about what Theodore Roosevelt would do in this situation.

While I was flipping through one of my many books about him:

...too many?

…too many?

I came upon his quote:

The worst lesson that can be taught to a man is to rely upon others and to whine over his sufferings.

Which was exactly what I needed to hear.

Worry, complaining, anxiety, fear… all have their purpose but rarely do they help accomplish anything worthwhile. Sitting around and worrying solves nothing.

Then, I thought about our culture and the rejection of age.

What I have found to be completely counterintuitive is the fact that accepting death releases worries.

I thought about all my stress and asked, “Will this matter when I’m dead?” Nope. None of it will.

Bills won’t matter.
Credit scores won’t matter.
College degrees won’t matter.
Jobs won’t matter.

All those sleepless nights of worry will die with us.

What matters is packing as much life as possible into those years we have.

The legacy we leave behind is what truly matters.

Stop worrying. Start doing.