Build Your Stamina For Life

When you want to get in shape, you’re aware that you must build your body through baby steps. You lift weights, do cardio, and make it progressively harder.

But when it comes to the mind and our lives, we forget these principles. We think we can just wake up and be disciplined, committed, and focused because it’s a new year or Monday or whatever new day you decide you’re going to get it together.

Instead of approaching it like fitness, and building a plan to make it progressively harder, you expect perfection from day one.

I’ve put myself through this trap too many times. No amount of planners, visualizing, goal-mapping, or anything else actually builds the discipline required to make these come to life.

It’s the small, committed steps that make the biggest difference.

The next day that’s slightly harder than the day before.

How long have you ever lasted on a completely new schedule? Only a few days, right?

Same with the gym if you start out too heavy and overwhelming right away. You’ll pull muscles and want to start skipping the gym immediately.

I would also argue that it is important to build your mind for discomfort and hard life struggles we all have to endure. Too many people live lives of comfort, only to be crushed by life with the smallest setback.

Comfort is a killer. It kills dreams, goals, passion, and grit.

Note: Comfort is different than contentment. People confuse the two all the time.

Comfort = complacent. The definition is, “A state of physical ease and freedom from pain or constraint.”

Contentment = gratitude. The definition is, “A state of happiness or satisfaction.”

You can be satisfied with where you are, but complete freedom from constraint is not the right state of mind.

Being uncomfortable is a good thing, not a bad thing.

The problem is that a lot of us have struggles, but no purpose. When you’re focused and determined, struggle becomes easier.

Just being in pain all the time mentally or physically with no purpose is the root of an unnecessarily hard life. When you struggle in life and have nothing to work for, that is the root of some forms of depression. That’s when life seems unfair and thoughts of “why me?” begin to creep in.

Being in pain in the pursuit of something great makes the pain have a purpose.

Discipline is a great tool to build a quality life, but building discipline in the pursuit of a mission is what makes a legendary life.

Your mission can change, your goals can change, your passions can change, but never stop moving forward.

Whatever your goal is, you can make today harder than yesterday. You can build the beginning steps to achieving that goal. You can accomplish just a little more today than yesterday.

 

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What Deserves Your Attention?

Photo by Gilles Lambert via Unsplash

Photo by Gilles Lambert via Unsplash

Everything wants your attention, but what deserves your attention?

Everything in today’s world wants our eyeballs.

The news makes us all terrified.
Social media makes us afraid that we’re missing out.
Another inflamed argument on Facebook grabs your attention.

This is a never-ending loop we all fall into: reading things that don’t enhance our lives.

Sure, it’s important to stay informed on the world and what’s happening, but when it is during a time you should be working, it’s only a negative.

Steve Kamb over at Nerd Fitness made a great post about this topic, and it’s something I haven’t stopped thinking about since reading it.

After working for a few years in marketing, I have intimate knowledge of how companies go the extra mile to get our attention.

It’s debatable how ethical some of the ways are, but the main thing to know is that they’re doing it all the time.

I get it, companies need to make sales.

However, you need to be just as tough with your time as they are with their tactics.

Of course Facebook wants you on their site 24/7.
Of course ads are meant to be ridiculous to get your attention.
Of course Tinder wants you to be on there swiping your thumbs off instead of actually out in the world meeting people face to face.

What deserves your attention?

That’s the big question: Which of these things deserve your attention?

That’s what I’ve asked myself when I find myself deep in something that has my attention.

Will this distraction contribute to your legacy?

Nothing comes before your legacy work

Whatever it is you want to be known for and contribute to society, there is nothing in the world more important than that.

I always remember that humans have survived an incredibly long time before now without the internet and without these distractions. So, no, that article is probably not going to change my life.

(But keep checking in on this blog, please. 🙂 )

Nothing comes before your goals this year

If you’ve planned out your year (I have post on this: here), then you already know what needs to be done.

You know what you need to focus on this month, this week, this day, and this hour.

Keep those goals next to your computer at all times so you stay focused on what matters.

Side note: If you need more tips on staying focused when you’re online, here’s a great post from the Art of Manliness on setting up systems to make it happen.

Does it actually contribute to your life?

There’s an argument to be made for doing activities that make you happy.

Maybe you have a favorite YouTuber, TV show, book, or group of friends you love to hang out with.

You should absolutely include those things in your life (only after you finish your work).

However, we all also make too much time for the things that don’t make us happy.

  • Checking in on people on social media that we don’t care about.
  • Reading news articles that have a clear bias and are out to make you intentionally angry (aka every single political article in America this year).
  • Seeing what your ex is up to on Instagram.
  • Feeding the rage machine online.
  • Consuming useless content that provides no actual value.
  • Hanging out with people you can’t stand.

All of those things need to be deleted from your life as often as possible

None of those deserve your attention, not now and not ever.

Every time you find yourself distracted, pull yourself back to what matters and remind yourself WHY you want the goals you want.

Stay focused.

Make The Required Sacrifice: The REAL Secret To Success

Photo by Liane Metzler via Unsplash

Photo by Liane Metzler via Unsplash

 

In a world focused on constant “life hacks”, it’s hard to find tangible advice for success.

Endless apps, Medium posts, YouTube videos, morning routines, blogs, “successful” people on Instagram showing off watches and cars they don’t actually own… The supply of bad advice is endless.

The only real way to learn about success is from the people who have actually achieved something worth admiring.

In al my years of reading about successful people, I’ve learned they all had one major thing in common: they practiced their craft relentlessly.

They put in the time and they reaped the rewards.

That’s what none of these con artists online want to tell you, that real success requires the dedicated time and effort. It’s not an overnight phenomenon.

No book, video, blog, or pill will solve the years that go into being good at anything.

If you want to be shredded for the summer, you need to consistently go to the gym and stick to your diet. On a side rant, only losers complain about people on steroids. People on steroids have to work hard, regardless of any “cheating”. The fact is that getting in shape is easy, but staying committed is hard.

If you want to be a writer, you must sit in your chair and get writing. 1,000 words a day is the minimum. It’s simple, but staying consistent is hard.

If you want to be an actor, you must practice as often as possible and get metaphorically slapped across the face with rejection over and over.

All accomplishments require discipline

No matter what your goal is, there are sacrifices that must be made and time that must be put in. If you aren’t willing to dedicated yourself to both of those, just walk away from the goal right now.

After almost a decade as a paid writer, I’ve heard from hundreds of people who “wished they were a writer”, but almost none have taken the action steps to make it happen. Getting started as a writer is easy: you write. Your work is embarrassing to read at first. Then you stay committed and you get better.

All goals can be broken down to simple action steps that must be put in day in and day out. Staying consistent requires you to become a person who stays disciplined through all the trials and tribulations of life. Not every day will be perfect, but every day will be closer than you were yesterday.

This is the crossroad I’m at right now in my own life, deciding what I’m willing to commit to and what I’m willing to sacrifice in the direction of my goals. If I’m not willing to sacrifice and commit, I should just turn back now and give up.

If there’s something you truly want, the time to decide is right now. RIGHT NOW. As you read this. Not later. Not when the “time is right” (there is never a right time). Not when you retire. Not when you graduate. Right now.

The action steps

Here’s how I’m breaking this down in my own life:

1. List your goals

Go crazy and dream big. List out everything you want and have even thought about wanting in your life. Go through goals for relationships, work, travel, finances, health, family, hobbies, philanthropy, awards to win, materials items to posses… all of it.

2. List the sacrifices for each and also the work required for each goal.

Write out everything you know it would take to achieve these goals. The necessary sacrifices, like time away from your family, less Netflix time, being sore, dealing with writers block, moving to another country, dealing with rejection, etc.

Then write out the work you must put in to make it come to life: staying committed, studying your craft, showing up when you don’t want to, going to events, showing up to classes, doing unpaid internships, ALL the work it takes.

Also know that it could easily take decades before you see any return on investment from your hard work. Which leads to the third step:

3. What are you willing and ready to do?

Take an HONEST look at the list. What are you willing to commit to? What are you willing to give up?

Be real with yourself. Cross off the goals you aren’t ready for. Know you can come back to them at another time when your life is different, but now you can put your mind at ease knowing you can stop thinking about those for this moment.

Narrow your list down. It’s nice to imagine a life where we are working on 10 big goals at once, but you won’t get the results because of the time it takes alone.

Are you willing to wake up early?
Put yourself out there?
Put your ideas into action?
Stay committed when you don’t want to?
Spend less time partying?

If you’re having trouble deciding, here’s one of the few truths I know for sure:

You must always do the thing you’re afraid to do. If it brings up any kind of fear, consider it.

Goals should both excite and terrify you. If they don’t, go back to step 1 and search your heart again for new goals. Aim BIG. Forget aiming small, that’s in the past. Your future can be anything you decide it to be right in this moment.

4. Put it in your planner.

Here is where it gets real.

Side note: One of the best books I’d highly recommend on planning out goals is the book Wishcraft: How to Get What You Really Want by Barbara Sher. It’s an old book, and not as big as popular as other ones, but it’s a gem. Her other book, Live the Life You Love and I Could Do Anything are also amazing as well. I’ve read hundreds of goal planning books, and those are the best.

Anyway, the point is that if you’re serious about these new goals, you need to make the time for them.

Look at your “commitment” category and see what the first steps are. Put them in your planner NOW. (Also, if you don’t have a planner, it’s time to get one.)

You need to start on these steps today. Your goals can’t wait.

Or, do the Jerry Seinfeld productivity hack where you get a calendar and mark an “X” on every day you work toward your goal. Then your goal is to never, ever break the chain.

You know what you need to do. You know the sacrifices and the commitment you have to make.

Now the decision is whether you want to live the life you’ve always wanted, or to let another year on the calendar go by and wishing you wouldn’t have wasted it.

I know I don’t want to let 2016 go by and have 2017 be here with nothing to show for it.

Don’t read another thing. Don’t debate another moment.

Decide. Commit. Succeed.

A Legacy Is Found In The Thankless Work

photo-1433878455169-4698e60005b1

From Unsplash, Photo by: Jared Erondu

 

In a world that rewards people for bragging the most, I think it’s important to talk about doing the thankless work.

The thankless work is the work done behind the scenes. The good things not caught on social media. The things that keep our society functioning and holds all our relationships together.

Every good deed seems to be captured on social media these days.

What happened to doing good things when no one was watching?

More importantly: Would they continue to do the good things if they couldn’t post it?

The thankless work is where a real legacy is found. Where a strenuous life is built. Where you live a life you’re proud of living.

All the work that doesn’t get fame or recognition matters the most:

  • Parents attending their children’s sports games
  • People who clean up the town you live in
  • Park rangers who protect our parks and wildlife
  • Going to vote (Never ever let your voice be silent)
  • Doing your job to the best of your ability
  • Going out of your way to not litter
  • Taking your grandparents out to lunch
  • Anything that helps your career, community, or the world
  • Millions and millions of other examples…

A quality life is full of countless tasks that no one thanks you for. As a society, we must collectively be okay with doing these tasks, or we will come crumbling down.

Doing the work that needs to be done doesn’t always get a pat on the back. Sometimes you have to pat your own back and keep pressing on.

There were many times Theodore Roosevelt (the inspiration behind this blog) was pressured into thinking about the next ranking job after the one he was in. He would always get upset and mention that such a distraction would prevent him from doing the job already in front of him. If he focused on becoming the president (a job he eventually did have), it would interfere with his job as the governor of New York. He knew if that was his goal, he would have to play politics and wouldn’t be able to focus on the people of New York and what was best for them.

He was so focused on doing the job in front of him, he had no time to entertain the next step.

Think about most people today: They’re so busy bragging about the “hustle” and the “grind” and being rich and famous, that they only half-ass do the job in front of them.

Yes, there is something to be said for having high goals, but that must not come at the expense of doing your current job to the best of your ability.

My own personal resolve this year is to focus on the thankless work. To brag less and to work more. To not spend any time making things look “perfect” on social media and instead focus on the things that need to be done.

Do the hard work. Don’t brag about it on social media. Pat yourself on the back. Get back to work.

Share this post with someone who needs this reminder today.

50 Days Left in 2014

Mind blowing, right?

2014 went by faster than almost any other year before for me.

This is the point where most people start slowing down, relaxing, buying eggnog and pie… However, if there are still big goals left on your list there is no reason you should be slowing down at this point.

I was reviewing my year, as I commonly do, and I realized that I didn’t check off a few big things that I wanted to accomplish this year.

So, I won’t be slowing down. This will be a full-out race to the finish line.

In 50 days, anyone could:

– Lose weight
– Write a book
– Gain muscle
– Instill a new habit or 2
– Run a marathon
– Build the foundation for a business
– Build a chair by hand
– Read 30 books
– Learn to cook

You get the point. 50 days are a LOT of days left to accomplish almost anything in the world.

Get to it.

You Can’t Think Your Way Out of Being Stuck

Success is a delicate balance of thinking and action.

School taught us to analyze, to think, to dissect every single part of a problem to solve it.

Sure, there is a time and a place for thinking, but it must never take the place of action, and it must certainly never happen before we take action.

Our society is full of people buying countless self-help books, paying thousands of dollars for seminars, and everything else to somehow bring clarity, when the best way to bring clarity is to start getting your hands dirty.

We see this clearly in the fitness world: All of the fitness knowledge possible is already out there. If you want six pack abs, find a plan, print it out, follow the plan, boom: abs. Clearly, information isn’t the problem.

The problem is in the doing.

All of the knowledge in the world does not replace one night of hard work.

People think if they create this incredibly detailed plan, all the pieces will fall perfectly into place and success will just come in a neat little package at their doorstep.

The problem is that real life is messy. There are problems and pitfalls we could never plan for, and as soon as they come instead of adjusting we just burn all the plans to the ground. For some reason if it all doesn’t go according to plan we just quit.

This is where plans are dangerous. We can’t control the world but plans give us the illusion that we can.

As I read more and more books about Theodore Roosevelt, a man who accomplished more in his life than many of us could dream of, it is apparent to me that he rarely planned. He was a man of action. He did the job in front of him to the best of his ability and let the chips fall where they may afterwards.

I quoted this in my past post, but this quote is still relevant:

[A]t one period [I] began to believe that I had a future before me, and that it behooved me to be very far-sighted and scan each action carefully with a few to its possible effect on that future. This speedily made me useless to the public and an object of aversion to myself; and I then made up my mind that I would try not to think of the future at all, but would proceed on the assumption that each office I held would be the last I ever should hold, and I would confine myself to trying to do my work as well as possible while I held that office. I found that for me personally this was the only way in which I could either enjoy myself or render good service to the country, and I never afterwards deviated from this plan. – Theodore Roosevelt

Could you imagine a world where the job you’re doing is the last job you’ll ever have?

For a lot of people, that is a terrifying thought. We all have so many dreams and goals for the future that it is hard to imagine a world where they don’t exist.

However, all this day dreaming can distract us from the present. We’re so focused on our plans, hopes, and dreams that we forget to put all of our energy on the tasks in front of us. This creates a reality where we are giving a half-assed effort to everything around us and ultimately robs us of a better future.

Think about your average day. You’re probably on autopilot as you go through your usual work routine, day dreaming of a time when it will all be different and somehow “better”.

When you do this, you’re not excelling at the job in front of you. This can rob you of promotions, seeing a new solution, and doing the work that will get you recognized.

Are you day dreaming about publishing a novel, or are you actually working on it every day?
Are you day dreaming of being fit, or are you in the gym every day?
Are you day dreaming of starting a business or are you working on your side hustle every night?

Living the strenuous life means you’re working hard at all times. It means you’re looking at the tasks in front of your face and doing them to the best of your ability.

When you are constantly performing at your best, it will always be noticed by the people around you. It is hard to determine when a new opportunity will come, but by focusing on producing excellent work, it multiplies your opportunity for luck tenfold.

Today, look at the tasks around you. How can you give more of an effort? It does not matter whether the task is big or small, what matters is how much you put into it.

Give your full effort. Stop day dreaming. Do the job in front of you so well that you don’t even think about anything else.

 

What An Old Couple Can Teach You About Life And Love

This isn’t a video you should watch, this is a video you need to watch:

Okay, now that you have probably cried your eyes out (and if you haven’t, you might want to check your body for a pulse), let’s talk about this video and how this applies to living the strenuous life.

Keeping love in your life

Everyone hopes that they will have a legendary love in life, but what are you doing to make sure this happens? Forget fate and divine intervention and all those other excuses and let’s focus on you for a minute.

What’s the reality of so many relationships? So many people either don’t even attempt to get someone they could love, or they do find them, get lazy and let them slip away which ends in a loveless marriage or a nasty divorce where everyone is bitter.

Think about Danny and Annie for a minute. Every morning she would wake up to a little love note from him. Could you imagine doing this? What about the morning after a big fight… would you still write a little love note, or would you walk around being enraged the rest of the day, writing snotty social media updates, and texting your friends every detail about your fight?

Obviously I can’t comment on every single relationship out there, but who would ever leave someone who wrote them a love note every single day? I don’t know about you, but I sure wouldn’t.

Most relationships out there end because both people give up. I meet far too many people who are so bitter about their relationship or their marriage. Some people get married because they settle, and some people get married for all the wrong reasons such as money. Don’t let this be you.

If you have found someone special, don’t become a lazy bum and just expect them to always be there. There is nothing that says that someone has to stay with you. If you don’t feel like your partner is showing they care about you, step up to the plate and do some gestures first. Don’t get sucked into the endless bitter cycle of blaming the other person for not caring, while they probably do the same thing. Make the first move. If they love you at all, they will reciprocate.

And what if you’re single? Well if you’re single, what are you doing to become someone worth dating? Nobody ever likes to hear that because we have all been told we were all special since we were given gold stars in Kindergarten for every damn thing we did. If you’re single, are you keeping yourself fit, growing your career, developing a hobby, and working on your character? Or are you going out and drinking away your sorrows at the nearest bar? You never know when you could meet your soul mate. Don’t you want to bring a lot to the table when you meet them or are you going to be a worthless human being with nothing to show? Which is going to get their interest? Think about that for a minute.

Finding happiness without money

Danny and Annie weren’t the richest people ever. They didn’t have a Lamborghini, a huge house, they weren’t famous in their lives by any means, but they found happiness, and there aren’t too many people who can say that.

If you took money out of your relationship, would you still be happy? If not, you need to rethink your values if you have any interest in living the strenuous life. The strenuous life is about finding internal happiness and finding joy in life with or without money. Someone living the strenuous life knows that a gold watch doesn’t bring joy, it’s the pursuit of worthwhile efforts that can put you in the position to buy that watch that makes life meaningful.

Coming to reality

We all have to come to grips with our own mortality. I say it over and over, but one day, all of this will end for you. Don’t you want to go out in a flame instead of letting that flame inside of you die way before you are actually dead?

Danny didn’t become complacent in his relationship to Annie. He kept on loving her and finding ways to show it every single day. He didn’t just marry her and then expected her to be there every single day while going about his routine.

Even as he neared the end of his life, he was okay with dying. He didn’t sound like a man with a lot of regrets about the way he loved his wife and she sounded just as honored to have a love with him throughout all those years. He proudly lived the strenuous life and she did right along with him.

Don’t you want to be someone who stares death in the face and looks back and has the peace of mind that they wouldn’t change a damn thing?

I recently came across this post about a guy who admitted he blew his marriage. (Read it: here). He admits all the areas where he completely failed at keeping his marriage together. It was so incredibly brave of him to admit to his faults. That is a lot of raw honesty to put out on the internet! I’d suggest you take a look at it. If you’re in a relationship or married, it may be an eye-opener. If you’re single, make a note of this so you can have a legendary love and never lose it.

Because in the end, don’t we all just want to be like Danny and Annie?