How to Focus When Everyone Seems to Be Farther Ahead

Ah, social media. It’s brought about some of the best in humanity but also brought about new challenges we have to deal with.

Before, we only heard about all the things our friends are doing through catching up with them or by hearing it through other people.

Now, you just flip on your phone and can see all of the things everyone you’ve ever known are doing with their lives.

Sure, it would be nice to say to simply delete social media and never use it again, and that’s great for the people who can do that. However, not all of us can. Some people like social media or work in a career that needs it. This will be more of a balance when you have no choice but you still need to stay focused on your own life, even when the people around you are doing cool things.

Accepting your path

The first thing you need to accept is that everyone is on a different journey. We can’t all be on the same blueprint, because what would be the purpose?

When you look at successful people over time, you’ll see that every single one of them had a different journey. Some found success at 18, some became successful in their 60’s. Some with a family, some without. Some with parents some without. You get the idea.

Knowing what YOU want

On this site, I’ve said time and time again that the most important part of life is to know what YOU want. Not what your parents want for you, not what your teachers want, not what your friends want, not what your partner wants… What YOU want.

A lot of us turn to social media instead of facing those hard questions and thoughts. Every time we feel uncomfortable or realize we’re unhappy where we are, we pop up those stimulating apps that distract us from that discomfort.

When you realize you’re falling into that pattern, it’s more important than ever to take a social media break and step back a bit.

Compare what you want to what you see

My career requires me to be on social media far too much (digital marketing), so I had to figure out a way to deal with this.

The best solution I have found is to notice when I’m feeling jealous or behind and ask myself:
* Am I actively working toward what I want?
* Is this thing I’m jealous over something I actually want?

The biggest thing I’ve realized is that when I’m not actively working toward what I want, it’s easy to become bitter when you see other people happy. (That’s also the case for every single troll on the internet.)

When you’re making progress every day toward what you want, you have little time to be jealous or upset. You’ll actually be happy for other people doing the same thing.

The second question helps you realize that so much of what we see online isn’t something we actually want. For example, if you saw your friend giving a speech to a huge crowd and you were a little envious, ask yourself if public speaking is even something you want.

Avoid self-sabotage thinking

It’s so easy to get caught in a downward spiral of feeling like there’s something wrong with you when you see other people succeeding. This is especially true if you see people achieving the things that you have on your own goal list.

Remember that the things you already have, someone in the world is praying to have. You’re blessed in different ways, whether you see those blessing or not. Someone would kill for your life.

Stay focused on what you want, remind yourself that your life path will be unique, and take note of how far you’ve come.

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100% is Easy, 99% is Hard as Hell

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“100% is Easy, 99% is Hard” is a quote I came across recently that took me quite some time to absorb.

The essential premise is that when you’re 100% committed, everything becomes easy. When you’re just 1% hesitant, that hesitancy can destroy your productivity.

This has been a year of a lot of 99%. And the problem is, 99% sounds great, right? Like, you’re almost fully committed. “It’s a lot more than 1%!” you tell yourself.

However, every number on the scale to 100% is enough to stop you. Only being 10% committed… 40%… 51%… It doesn’t matter.

If you aren’t getting the right things done, take a minute to think for a second. Ask yourself if you are 100% committed to what you want.

If you’re being honest with yourself, you’ll know that you are somewhere under 100% committed.

Of course, we can accomplish the things on our to-do lists that are required to get done without being 100% committed. If your parents need a favor, you need to finish something your boss gives you to do, you need to go grocery shopping… Those are different.

I’m talking about the true passion that burns in your soul. The one your mind just went to. The thing you’re dying to do that you just keep putting off.

2018 is just around the corner, how much longer are you going to wait?

For years, I’ve been a writer for my work. I can write client projects without much of a struggle and without writers block getting in the way. However, look at this blog. I love this site. It’s a baby passion project. But look at how few times I post. (Yes, this is me calling myself out.)

It’s easy to sit down and be like “oh, I can’t write today, writers block” but in the back of my mind I know that’s not true.

Think about all the other areas of your life. Where are you lacking 100% commitment when it’s important?

Whether it’s in sports, relationships, goals, or for any other thing that matters to you, it’s essential that you remove that one percent that’s holding you back.

You can be scared, you can be nervous, you can want to scream, but you must be fully committed and follow through.

Let’s go through some examples you’ve probably been in.

If you aren’t 100% committed to your diet, you’ll easily excuse those cheat meals here and there that add up to additional weight. When you’re 100% committed, you don’t even look at those tempting snacks. You already know you’re not going to touch them.

If you aren’t 100% committed to your relationship, all kinds of temptations are everywhere. You’ll start flirting, your thoughts will start looking outside your relationship. Most of all, you won’t put in the commitment to fix it, you’ll just want to bail out. When you’re committed, you’re ready to fix whatever problems come up.

If you aren’t 100% committed to pursuing that burning passion or dream, you’ll let things like your feelings, the weather, or being tired get in the way. You’ll do it “tomorrow”. When you’re 100% committed, it doesn’t matter how you feel.

Until you’re at 100%, you can kiss progress goodbye.

All throughout time, the people who truly accomplished what they wanted to hit the 100% committed mark.

It’s time for you to do the same.

What Deserves Your Attention?

Photo by Gilles Lambert via Unsplash

Photo by Gilles Lambert via Unsplash

Everything wants your attention, but what deserves your attention?

Everything in today’s world wants our eyeballs.

The news makes us all terrified.
Social media makes us afraid that we’re missing out.
Another inflamed argument on Facebook grabs your attention.

This is a never-ending loop we all fall into: reading things that don’t enhance our lives.

Sure, it’s important to stay informed on the world and what’s happening, but when it is during a time you should be working, it’s only a negative.

Steve Kamb over at Nerd Fitness made a great post about this topic, and it’s something I haven’t stopped thinking about since reading it.

After working for a few years in marketing, I have intimate knowledge of how companies go the extra mile to get our attention.

It’s debatable how ethical some of the ways are, but the main thing to know is that they’re doing it all the time.

I get it, companies need to make sales.

However, you need to be just as tough with your time as they are with their tactics.

Of course Facebook wants you on their site 24/7.
Of course ads are meant to be ridiculous to get your attention.
Of course Tinder wants you to be on there swiping your thumbs off instead of actually out in the world meeting people face to face.

What deserves your attention?

That’s the big question: Which of these things deserve your attention?

That’s what I’ve asked myself when I find myself deep in something that has my attention.

Will this distraction contribute to your legacy?

Nothing comes before your legacy work

Whatever it is you want to be known for and contribute to society, there is nothing in the world more important than that.

I always remember that humans have survived an incredibly long time before now without the internet and without these distractions. So, no, that article is probably not going to change my life.

(But keep checking in on this blog, please. 🙂 )

Nothing comes before your goals this year

If you’ve planned out your year (I have post on this: here), then you already know what needs to be done.

You know what you need to focus on this month, this week, this day, and this hour.

Keep those goals next to your computer at all times so you stay focused on what matters.

Side note: If you need more tips on staying focused when you’re online, here’s a great post from the Art of Manliness on setting up systems to make it happen.

Does it actually contribute to your life?

There’s an argument to be made for doing activities that make you happy.

Maybe you have a favorite YouTuber, TV show, book, or group of friends you love to hang out with.

You should absolutely include those things in your life (only after you finish your work).

However, we all also make too much time for the things that don’t make us happy.

  • Checking in on people on social media that we don’t care about.
  • Reading news articles that have a clear bias and are out to make you intentionally angry (aka every single political article in America this year).
  • Seeing what your ex is up to on Instagram.
  • Feeding the rage machine online.
  • Consuming useless content that provides no actual value.
  • Hanging out with people you can’t stand.

All of those things need to be deleted from your life as often as possible

None of those deserve your attention, not now and not ever.

Every time you find yourself distracted, pull yourself back to what matters and remind yourself WHY you want the goals you want.

Stay focused.

You Can’t Think Your Way Out of Being Stuck

Success is a delicate balance of thinking and action.

School taught us to analyze, to think, to dissect every single part of a problem to solve it.

Sure, there is a time and a place for thinking, but it must never take the place of action, and it must certainly never happen before we take action.

Our society is full of people buying countless self-help books, paying thousands of dollars for seminars, and everything else to somehow bring clarity, when the best way to bring clarity is to start getting your hands dirty.

We see this clearly in the fitness world: All of the fitness knowledge possible is already out there. If you want six pack abs, find a plan, print it out, follow the plan, boom: abs. Clearly, information isn’t the problem.

The problem is in the doing.

All of the knowledge in the world does not replace one night of hard work.

People think if they create this incredibly detailed plan, all the pieces will fall perfectly into place and success will just come in a neat little package at their doorstep.

The problem is that real life is messy. There are problems and pitfalls we could never plan for, and as soon as they come instead of adjusting we just burn all the plans to the ground. For some reason if it all doesn’t go according to plan we just quit.

This is where plans are dangerous. We can’t control the world but plans give us the illusion that we can.

As I read more and more books about Theodore Roosevelt, a man who accomplished more in his life than many of us could dream of, it is apparent to me that he rarely planned. He was a man of action. He did the job in front of him to the best of his ability and let the chips fall where they may afterwards.

I quoted this in my past post, but this quote is still relevant:

[A]t one period [I] began to believe that I had a future before me, and that it behooved me to be very far-sighted and scan each action carefully with a few to its possible effect on that future. This speedily made me useless to the public and an object of aversion to myself; and I then made up my mind that I would try not to think of the future at all, but would proceed on the assumption that each office I held would be the last I ever should hold, and I would confine myself to trying to do my work as well as possible while I held that office. I found that for me personally this was the only way in which I could either enjoy myself or render good service to the country, and I never afterwards deviated from this plan. – Theodore Roosevelt

Could you imagine a world where the job you’re doing is the last job you’ll ever have?

For a lot of people, that is a terrifying thought. We all have so many dreams and goals for the future that it is hard to imagine a world where they don’t exist.

However, all this day dreaming can distract us from the present. We’re so focused on our plans, hopes, and dreams that we forget to put all of our energy on the tasks in front of us. This creates a reality where we are giving a half-assed effort to everything around us and ultimately robs us of a better future.

Think about your average day. You’re probably on autopilot as you go through your usual work routine, day dreaming of a time when it will all be different and somehow “better”.

When you do this, you’re not excelling at the job in front of you. This can rob you of promotions, seeing a new solution, and doing the work that will get you recognized.

Are you day dreaming about publishing a novel, or are you actually working on it every day?
Are you day dreaming of being fit, or are you in the gym every day?
Are you day dreaming of starting a business or are you working on your side hustle every night?

Living the strenuous life means you’re working hard at all times. It means you’re looking at the tasks in front of your face and doing them to the best of your ability.

When you are constantly performing at your best, it will always be noticed by the people around you. It is hard to determine when a new opportunity will come, but by focusing on producing excellent work, it multiplies your opportunity for luck tenfold.

Today, look at the tasks around you. How can you give more of an effort? It does not matter whether the task is big or small, what matters is how much you put into it.

Give your full effort. Stop day dreaming. Do the job in front of you so well that you don’t even think about anything else.